Perfect?
by Truth I'minPain
Summary: Before Twilight, Bella Swan lives in Beverly Hills, she has everything she could ever want, or does she? Theres something missing and when I mean something thing,I mean someone. Warning:Sexual Abuse-non graffic, For now at least, First FanFic
1. I Have Everything

Before Twilight, no Edward or any other Cullen for that matter , at least not for yet, but they will. This is before she goes and moves in with Charlie, Bella never lived in Phoenix but she lived in LA, well Beverly Hills, with her Mom who is with a guy named Mik, a huge business man that can sceal a deal with out even blinking. Bella is not a quite, unknown girl, but a well known, athlete hotty, who gets everything she ever wants, or does she? Can being perfect have it's faults? Will Bella ever realize whats really wrong and what she's missing in her life? Read and find out yourself.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the Characters, Stephanie Meyer Does!

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Dear Diary,

I, Bella Swan, was the ideal girl to be, to the outside world I had everything and everyone at my feet; but does that mean that I have it all, that I have no pain? No doubts? No needs? People would say that I am perfect and I have everything I could ever want. But I always find myself asking, was I the happiest person alive? Did I have the life everyone thought I had? If I said yes, then I'd be lying to you. I'm far from happy; I'm on the opposite side, waving at my Outside self clear across the Bella Perfect Country. If I'm so great, then why do I feel so… blah, so so empty and why do I never feel GOOD? What is it that I'm doing wrong? And the million dollar question, Why am I so alone?

Thanks for listening Diary; you're the only one I have, the only one who won't say I'm lying about being unhappy. You're the only person that doesn't judge me for everything I do. Listen to me, how pathetic am I, I'm talking to you Diary like you're my best friend; the sad thing is, you really are.

"Oh great, here comes, Miss. Perfect, uh, and of course she's wearing that gorgeous outfit I wanted from Ella J. That Bitch, she always does this to me, she's purposely buying the clothes that I die to have but can't afford. Bella Swan always has to flaunt whatever one else can't ever have, I mean who does she think she is?" Denis McGuire asked Jane Danner, her minion, who was about to respond when Denis cut her off, to great Bella Swan.

"Oh honey, how was your weekend? Looks like it was a great one, you obviously went shopping again!" Denis and Bella both blow kisses on each other's cheeks, like the French. Bella was wearing her new dark washed, Joe Jeans that had rhinestones on the ass, a green C&C tank under a smokey grey, cashmere shrug, a rosé scarf, and her favorite metallic banana Miu Miu flats.

As Bella was pulling back her caramel brown hair in a messy bun, she replied, "Yeah, it was great my mom got a new client and she got another bonus, so my mom and I splurged. She insisted we do a whole Spa treating weekend; so we did the Monte Carlo Day treatment at Krystal Salon. The one that did the whole works: massages, facials, hair, nails and make-up. Then we did a whole shopping spree, but other than that my weekend was okay, what about yours?" The Bell had just wrong and everyone was shuffling towards their first class, Bella and Denis said their good-byes. Man, why does Denis always have to ask if she had a great weekend, she always would say I did even if I didn't. If people are going to already put in their own words to their own questions towards me then why bother asking me, it's not like I ever get to answer, heaven forbid someone actually listen to me for once. If they would just listen they could hear my insides cry out in pain, wishing for something to change my life. If people would just listen they would finally acknowledge I don't have the perfect life and stop being jealous about it. But does anyone listen, no, they always have to assume. And like what my mother would always say, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and an ass out of me. However, I don't think my mom's little cliché would ever actually have someone stop assuming though.


	2. Derrick

**Okay so bottom line I'm new at this this is my first story and I hope you enjoy it. This is an entry were you learn some of Bella's past and for some of the reasons she feels so lost...**

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Dear Diary,

I'm so frustrated! It's like I can't every get out what I want, no what I need. It's been so long since I actual confided in someone, someone who is real, Derrick. Man I miss him so much, it's so hard to bare what happen. Specially cus I'm the one who killed him. That's right, I, Bella Swan murdered my best friend. When I was little, around when I was six…um the first time I was...um I was ra-rap-pped, I was raped by my step father, Mik. And after it happened I ran, ran and ran some more, until I find myself at this beautiful park, I just loved it, it looked so enchanting. I went over to the swings and there I meet Derrick.

Derrick was so sweet and amazingly comforting, it didn't help the fact that he was so cute but we became so close after that day. I of course told him what had happened, not that at the time I didn't realize I hae been raped, I just simply new it was wrong and I felt like I lost something, a part of me after the event. Derrick didn't know what he did either than, even though he was two years older than me, I thought older beings were all knowing, but he was only eight hell I didn't even understand what happened until I was 10 and still I couldn't comprehend it.

Over the years my step father would still molest me. But at least I still had my Derrick, he would be there when I would cry or have a total freak-out moment. He would never leave and over time I grew to love him, love him like I never loved anyone before. At the age six I had found my true love and turned out he loved me back. When I was 12 we started to go out and when I turned thirteen we were going steady. Still my step father was touching me and causing me so much emotional and physical pain, Derrek was very understanding and would never try to touch me like that not unless I wanted to, and I did I wanted to but I just couldn't. The memory of it all would fly through my mind and make me stop so he would stop and reassure me it was okay, he was a total gentlemen.

My Mom never noticed she was too busy getting drunk; I think that's why Mik started to fuck me because he could never get her attention. So whenever she wasn't looking he was groping me and sleeping with me when she was gone or come in my room in the middle of the night. It was weird cus I loved him, he was a great dad, but he ruined everything he had when he had ruined me. Well when I was around 14, Derrick had enough of my pain and had took action, he was huge, even though he was only 16 he was 6'2 and had a lean frame with mass amounts of muscle. To someone who was looking at the side lines they think he was just tall and lanky, but once you got closer you could see how strong he was. His whole body was covered in fine toned muscles. I would know especially because I had felt every single one of them. He was the number 1 swimmer in California, Championship winning quarterback from are school, and national star basketball player; so of course he was going to have strength, you would think he could take down my step father. The funny thing about what you think would happen and what actually does. Well basically Mik had won and taken Derrek out, my Derrek, my love, was killed and had moved on to the afterlife.

I was so mortified, my heart felt like it had just been cut out, smashed to the floor, a car driving over it over and over, cut it into a million little pieces and then stuffed in to a blender. It took me forever to move on, for me to even actually function right; it's still really hard, even after two years. I wish I could take back that day every day of my life, even worse I wish I had never meet Derrek so he could still be alive and I would never be in this much pain, in this much emptiness. I had falling in to a black hole and have yet to dig my way out of it, I tried but I never succeeded just dug a deeper hole and now I've just given up. Nothings ever going to change I'm going to be molested by my step father for the rest of my life, every ones going to think I'm perfect and hate me for it. Maybe I should just end my life and get it over with, to stop every ones pain and mine, especially mine it's so overwhelming.

Wait. OMG! I can't believe I haven't thought of this before, I can move to Forks, where my Dad lives, my real dad. Maybe things could change, maybe I could find what I'm looking for, what I'm longing for there. I can leave and never come back; I could change myself for the better. I'll reinvent myself and have a fresh start, I just hope nobody will hate me; I can't do the whole perfect hating thing again. Forks, well it certainly would be different, it's not sunny, and it's small but if I'm going to make a change why not do it the right way and do a whole new change of scenery. I'm so excited this could work I could finally be free Diary, do you know how big this is? I'm going to call Charlie right now.

Guess what? He said yes and my parents said it was fine to. But the only way Mik's letting me go if I have a full sex weekend with him will my Moms of on a business trip. But it's totally worth it; finally once I leave he can't ever touch me again!!!!!!!

Alright, goodnight Diary I'm going to bed because I'm not going to be getting any sleep during this weekend, you'd think Mik would get tired because he's older but he can keep going for ever.

Love You Diary, Thanks for listening.

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**Okay So what did you guys think? Like it or hate it? Please give me feed back and give me the truth even if its nasty. Thank You for reading this. Oh and Edward and the other Cullens will be showing up soon!**


	3. Semester! I hate you!

"I want you to finish your fucking semester here! I don't know how many times I have to tell you! You are staying here until your finals are over, you hear me missy? I'm not going to tell you again or change my mind so I suggest you get over it, and I mean quickly you fucking brat!" My mom was being her fucking normal drunken' self, not wanting me to be actually happy. She just didn't understand why I had to leave, she doesn't now what happens behind close doors.

Why can't she just be happy for me, to let me go where I want to go so I can get out of this hellhole? Not that where I grew up was a hole because it was far from it. I always lived in big gorgeous mansions that would take up the whole block. There was never one pinch of dirt, no trash, and "heaven forbid" there be something out of place.

We had four butlers in total, one was placed in each wing because each wing was like a house; each having their own kitchen, living room, family room, game room, and etc. The house was never ending and with all that space to cover we had eight maids.

It was weird growing up here, just the three of use and live in such a big house, but I did have a lot of entertainment: every type of instrument, home theater, home bowling ally, every sport court you could think of, inside and outside pools, one that was built like it was in a Water Park, we had several roller coasters that went in and out of our home, we had a dance rooms for every form, and so forth anything that screams fun we have it. As you can tell my mom and my evil stepfather, are grown up kids. But what I find amusing is the fact that they don't even use any of the stuff, you could only find them in the seller were all the alcohol was.

The down side to living in a big house is its so empty, yes there's a lot of crap but no warmth, that feeling when you walk in to home saying, "I'm home," no I had that feeling of loneliness and uncomfortable. The walls are screaming at me saying, "You don't belong here, you never have and you never will; you have to get out of here!" The walls are right I do have to leave, wishing I could go now but I can't because I have a bitch of a mother. At least its only a month away until the semester ends, hopefully I can survive here that long, I can only hope…


	4. Am I at fault?

**Okay so Bella has to stay in Beverly Hills for another month until finals are over. Hopefully she can survive the challeneges that she will face in the meantime. Hope you like. **

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Dear Diary,

Why does everything have to be so fucking hard? It's like I put all this energy in to my work and then it poof, disappears. I try so hard to make everything work, to just except all that has happened. But there's always something or someone that has to go fuck it up.

Why can't I just let everything go, why do I always have to hold everything in, never releasing my inner anger and frustration? I've tried to understand where everyone is coming from but I just can't get along with anyone. I have no one to trust and nothing to compare to.

I need to get out; I can't stay here its sucking the life out of me. Mik raped me again once I got home today, and I just feel so dirty; even though, I scrubbed my skin raw I still can't get him of me or his fuckin' vodka on the rocks/ The One cologne by Dolce & Gabbana smell.

I was talking to Denise earlier today and I thought to myself why am I listening to her. She never cares to listen to me or try to see where I'm coming from, when I say I don't have the perfect life. I also don't know why I haven't just screamed in her face saying, "Fuck you!"

I know that she talks about me behind my back; I am the most popular girl at school, so why am I taking her shit? Why do I put up with her and for that matter why anyone. Every day now I keep questioning why I'm even friends with my so-called friends. They've never done anything for me just use me. I can't talk to them, have a deep conversation, please, they just be begging me to barrow my True Religions.

Diary, I really hope that Forks will give me what I need, that something that I feel is missing. I wish I didn't have to leave to find what I'm looking for, for comfort, isn't that what home is already supposed to have. Isn't like some kind of rule to put it in the package when you have a family? So why was mine left out? Why did my parents have to get a divorce? Why did my mom have to become a drunk? Why did she have to marry Mik? And the most asked question, the one I really want to know is, why does Mik have to touch me?

Hell, why don't I have true friends, why do I always seem like the crazy psycho path, when I explain I hate my life. Maybe I am weird, maybe I'm to unappreciative, I mean I know it could defiantly be worse, a lot worse, but it's not like I haven't suffered, do I have to suffer for the rest of my life? Maybe I just don't know a good thing even if it's right under my noise. Maybe I'm the one who causes all this pain and suffering. Am I at fault? Did I do something to deserve this? Please diary tell me, I really wish you could talk I need answers, and If I stay here In Beverly Hills, then I'm never going to know.

(Diary: If I could talk I would say, "Don't you every FUCKING say that every again! You are not at fault for anything. You did nothing and especially about Derrick, nothing is your fault. Your Step father is a fuckin' fucker who is fuckin' twisted. You do need to get out and I have a feeling you're going to meet someone special who will change your life forever.)

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**Oh and if you didn't catch that but Bella didn't hear the Diary she isn't litterally crazy, or maybe she is? Bahhhh just kidding she's not, okay ya she is but I think everyone is a little crazy, don't you? And can you blame her her fucking step father, Mik is a fuckn asshole. Please Review I need input about how the story is going. I keep changing my mind on how I want this to go so it would help if people gave suggestions. Thanks! Oh and I will be posting Bella's clothes and different things that are described inn the story on my portfolio.**


	5. The Plan

**Denis POV:**

"Emily, we need to talk." Denis, Todd, and Jim, both explained. They had it with Emily; she's always hanging out with them and being all needy. "We need you to do us a favor." Denis had an evil glow in her eyes. Something was going to go down and soon; an event that will change lives forever. Some will be good and others will parish, each learning their own fate.

You could never get the girl to leave no matter what we say or do to her and we've just finally had enough. I mean it was kind of US, or group name it stands for United Socialites, to even invite her to our group when her old groups kicked her out.

Every year we put our selves in charge of doing charity work and pick a person that the school rejected and make them one of US. Of course no one every makes it, they never can be US, the stars of the school. But it doesn't mean we don't try even though we now they don't have it.

So this year we picked Emily, they annoying, immature, low self-esteem, worthless, needy freak, who could never get herself a boyfriend. All the school groups hated her and had kicked her out, we thought it was kind of mean so we invited her to ours, but that was a huge mistake.

We all tried as hard as we could but we could never actually get her to fucking shut the fuck up! I mean, hello, we've done everything we could think of to punisher her for it but she never learns. She's like a wall; always they're, never leaving, and can't ever stand up by herself unless there is flooring.

So we decided to kick her out just like everyone else. Except we aren't like everyone else, so we came up with this plan to get her kicked out of the school! Buhhhhhh! That's right, expelled, its not like she would want to stay here anyways, what with everyone hating her.

**The Plan: We tell Emily we need her to do something for us, to go into the principles office and still a document for us during the night. Little does she know that the Principle will be there having a meeting with the board of overseers. **

**We will be giving Emily a map to follow so she won't get caught sneaking in to the school. But ever main point she hits, ever event is then triggered. **

**1****st**** point- The tree to climb to get into the window= it's covered in honey but she'll just think its sap. (Emily's so ignorant she believes anything we tell her.) So her fingers and some of her clothes will have honey over them.**

**2****nd**** point- The window= We placed a silent alarm there, courtesy of Jim, who's our technology/handyman. **

**3****rd**** point- The door to the third hallway staircase= Which pulls a string that is connected to the room the principle is at, the conference room, which makes the principle and the board covered in honey, which was hovering over of their bald heads. **

**4****th**** point- Once she reaches the top of the staircase= there is a little string that is close to the floor, which she will push against when she steps off the staircase. The string will lead to starting a fan. A fan that is placed behind duck feathers that will unfortunately cling to the principle and the board. **

**5****th**** point- The room (the room that I told Emily had my jacket, which I left at school on accident and want here to get for me.) However, it was no accident; I planted it there so the 5****th**** plan would lead to the final but not least, the fatal 6****th****point. My jacket will create a reaction that will lead the room of men covered in purple paint.**

**6****th**** point-The Meeting Room, Aka The Principles Office= the final stage to are perfect plan of exterminating Emily once and for all. When Emily opens the door it will lead to another spillage; I mean come on, you can't have a honey sundae without a cherry on top. ******** The final straw is when the door opens and forces dog shit to fall on top of the Men's' heads. **

**Making quite a tasty treat at the end, especially for US, it's going to be a huge crack up. But the funniest thing is naive Emily won't even now all of it happened, to see her face of shock will go down in history and make US legends. **

**The biggest crack up is she won't even now it but her body will be covered in the evidence of the crime. Her hands covered in honey; my jacket has the paint color card and a few feathers stuck on her body and randomly placed around the walkway she passed through. **

**So the police, who were called from the alarm, will come in automatically take her away and accuse her of the crime. Of course she's innocent but only for this crime, she's definitely guilty for torturing my school mates and me, with her grungy presents; however they won't know that.**

Man I'm such a fucking genius; I can't believe how amazing I am to have come up with this plan. This will tot's get her out of our school, the fucking bitch. She deserves this, so I'm not a bitch for doing it but the kind enough soul to get rid of this filthy demon that has been wreaking havoc since she got here.

**Little does Denis know… **

**Bella POV:**

I overheard heard my group discussing a cruel and a vial event that I cannot believe they will be part taking in. I'm so disappointed and disgusted with the idea. I can't believe I'm friends with these demonic creatures.

So what does she think she's doing, I'm the leader, non? So how does she think she have the right or the nerve to do this. Especially without my consent, not that I would allow it, but still, I have the right as captain.

I've had it! If she wants to play this game then so be it.

Announcer:

**Lady's and Gent's, Bella Swan has know entered the Game and she is fully loaded, I'd be scared and stay out of her way or she just might blow you up. There is definitely tension in the area; the question is,**

"**who can survive it?"**

** To Be Continued…**

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**Okay so what did you guys think? Review pleasssseeeeee!!!!!!! I need opinions. And confused about anything just let me know kay. Bye.**


	6. The NonWeak Me

**I'm so sorry I havn't posted a new chapter for so long, I've just been very busy, plus I keep on getting sick and then I have to make up all this make up work, its a totally disaster. But I will be posting more chapters soon. I hope you guys like this chapter I was exaclty sure how I wanted the transitioning to go so I came up with this so far. I'll probably post the next chapter later tonight but not making any promises. **

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I'm So Sick by Flyleaf

"I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick"

**Bella's BOV:**

"They think I'm weak?" That reminds me of when I was younger and Mik found me with Derrick again. He always goes on these rants about how weak I am and back then he was right I was.

**Flashback:**

Bella at the age of 9

"You're so weak, you know that? You sneaking around playing your hide and go seek, when you always know I'll find you, so why play these silly little games? What, you think by crawling in a little corner that you will be safe? That I will never find your slithering body? Huh, Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Evil cackle), Please, I will always find you. I can smell your fear miles away; you will never escape me and you will always belong to me you sneaky little whore, no one else. You hear me? NO ONE!" Mik finished his monologue with exasperation, annoyance and a hint of agitation. He was pissed and extremely jealous, but never wanting to admit his flaws. He saw me with Derrick again and forbid me from every seeing him every again, like that would ever happen. He was my best friend, the only person I cared about, I can only hope that he cares for me to...

End of Flashback

I was weak back then, caring so much about Derrick and being with him forever. Well, Derrick is dead; everything and everyone I loved are gone. I no longer have a weak spot thus, I'm no longer vulnerable. I have nothing to lose because I've already lost everything. Weak? LOL, Please, Mik, my mother, and my so called friends, made me feel so weak and easily breakable, well they all underestimated me for far to long, they want weak, I'll show them weak, their **own** damn weakness that is.

This is a new day and with it is a new Bella, in fact, I'm changing my name, and if I'm really going to start fresh I need a full change. If I'm no longer going to be weak then I need a strong name.

Mmmhhmm, I know, I'll call my self Fox, because they are highly cunning and can be extremely hard to catch, just like the new ME is going to be.

If Denis thinks she's going to get away with her evil little plot, then she better think again. There is now way as long as I'm alive going to let her do anything that cruel, especially to Emily. It's not her fault that she just hasn't found the right friends to treat her right, the way she should be treated. So while Denis plots on her own little plan I'll be making my own, but if I want my plan to work out correctly I can't have any miss ups. I need to think about this and exactly how I want to proceed…

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**What did you guys think? I know I said weak way to many times but I was trying to get across the fact that thats how everyone around her made her feel. They told her that she was for so long and she began to believe it but now she's pissed and ready to prove everyone wrong. Please review even if its cruel, cus how else will I grow? **


	7. Not Worth Anything

**Emily BOV:**

"What the fuck is this? This does not look or taste like a White Chocolate Chip Frappe with mint. I specifically told you not to get one with Java Chip, It doesn't taste the same when you mix mint with it. I just don't understand how you get every fucking thing wrong! You always keep making mistakes and I do not tolerate mishaps. You better pull your head out of your ass fast and I mean quick. Now get out of my face before I throw up from looking at your hideous face." Denis screamed in my face forcing me to hold my breath in from the unbearable smelly odor coming out of Denis's wide mouth. I swear, totally repulsive and she's basically a fucking Ogar, she should brush those damn fangs before the smelly germs get their own smelly germs.

As I was turning and began to trot away I overheard, "She probably makes all those fucking mistakes because she was a mistake in the first place. She wasn't meant to be put in this world and especially not cause so much damage and destruction every where she fucking goes." Denis menacing explained to Jamie, the petite 5'2 gymnast, who was totally two faced. She acts all sweet and innocent, saying she loves you but truly hates and despises you. She'll talk behind your back once you leave the room. She had short legs and a long torso with thin mousy hair that folded around her also mousy face that had a permanent snotty smug grin. She was a Bitch and of course that meant she was best friends with Denis the Queen of all Bitches.

"Yeah you're tots right Dice, she should just leave us alone and kill herself already so she can save everyone the trouble of her presence. The world would tots be a better place without that **thing** of pure evil."Jamie answered with such ease, as if she wasn't just suggesting someone should commit suicide. What a fucking bitch! I hope she burns in hell and is tortured every single fucking day, over and over again for all the rude and evil things she has done.

I just don't understand why everyone hates me so much. I try so hard to meet everyone's

standards but it seems that no matter what I do, I'm always failing.

Why ME!?! What did I do to make Karma be so cruel to me and make everything I do, go so horribly wrong? It's not as if I don't put an effort into my work or any tasks, I'm actually the opposite, putting all my energy to make sure I do the best that I can; however, no matter how hard I try, I always seem to let down someone.

I mean I tried extremely hard to get on the good side of Denis and the other US members but no matter what they threw at me; I never passed even one challenge.

I don't even remember ever working this hard for something my entire life, I just really badly want to be accepted by US and be the first outsider to join the group.

But know I'm having my doubts, no matter how many times I shine there shoes, buy them lunch, get them their Java Chip with Peppermint Frappes from Starbucks, do their homework and their chores, I will still never get in.

I just don't understand this, I do everything they tell me to do but ever time they find something that is wrong with it. They are always picking on me and putting me down. Sometimes I ask myself if it really is every worth it. If I should really put all this time and effort to please them, to even be accepted by others.

Unfortunately, it's a Yes, because it's better to be treaded badly then to be a totally nobody. At least when I do things, I'm known; I'm not passed by like I'm invisible.

Sure it sucks that I have to be a total kiss ass suck up, but at least I get fame for it. Even if I get treated like shit at least I know they care enough to push me to my limits; plus this is a totally growing experience, I'll do my time now and then become one of them one day.

Like my dad always said, "No matter how successful someone seems to be one way or another everyone has their time and has to start at the bottom."

I just wish it didn't have to hurt so badly. The thing that I really don't get though is how come Bella lets her group be so cruel to me.

Yes she is the most popular girl in school; yes she is a friend with the frienemies, yes she is the leader of US, but she's the sweetest person I have ever meet.

Literally, she's as sweet as any treat can be; she has that something that makes her so different and unique. It's like she's the caramel that is drizzled over ice cream sundaes that add a burst of flavor that makes the sundae complete. Without it, the delicious dessert wouldn't really be a sundae anymore.

She has that sweetness that makes her Bella, the girl that could never say a mean word to any person; no matter how cruel they would be to her. Not that anyone would dare be mean to her, but she doesn't believe in stooping so low, as to his or her level of torment.

I just can't rap my head around the fact that she hasn't done anything to stop them, yes she doesn't use harsh words but she doesn't believe in letting a person suffer from it either.

She usually would have put a stop to any sign of cruel behavior but she hasn't done one single thing. I wonder why. I mean she's seen it go on, or maybe she hasn't, maybe she just hasn't paid attention, she's probably busy, and I mean she does have a lot on her plate.

Plus it's a waste of her time trying to help me; I'm just not worth her trouble.

I'm not worth anything.

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What did you guys think? I also wanted to know if you wanted me to actually right out the scene of th eplan in action and what Emily goes through or if you wanted me to just to head into where Bella fights back? Please give me yuor guys inpot casue it really helps me think on where I want to lead the story thus making me right faster. :] Thank You


	8. No More

Dear Diary,

I have finally figured out what I'm going to do and how to do it. The plan is perfect and I made sure I thought about every aspect just to double check everything runs smoothly. You have no idea how excited I am to finally get everything of my chest. Okay not everything but at least all the dead weight that's not worth my energy. I just can't wait until it's all over and done with so I can start fresh like a new grown vegetable.

Okay, I'm guilty, I have to talk shit know. I'm so FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW I COULD, I COULD, OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT I COULD DO BUT IF I DID DO SOMETHING; I COULD TELL YOU IT WOULD NOT BE A GOOD THING AND COULD POSSIBLE RUN PEOPLES LIVES. BUT THE BAD PART ABOUT IT IS THE FACT THAT I REALLY JUST WOULDN'T GIVE A SHIT. I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENEDS TO OTHER PEOPLE OR HOW THEY FEEL ANYMORE, EVEN IF SOMEONE DIED RIGHT KNOW I WOULD EVEN FLINCH. I'M THAT FUCKKKKIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG PISSSEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MENA WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, UH? FUCKING QUEEN OF SHEEBIA OR SOMETHING CASUE SHE IS DEFINATLY THE FUCKING FARTHEST AWAY FROM THAT AS SHE COULD POSSIBLE GET. I MEAN, LOOK AT HER (not the way she looks on the outside but how she looks on the inside, her true colors if you will), SHE IS COVERED AND FILLED IN WITH PURE EVIL!!!!!!!! IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER I WOULD SAY SHE WAS THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I SAW IN HER TO BECOME FRIENDS WITH HER. MAN I AM SO BAD AT PICKING OUT PEOPLE FOR FRIENDS. I TOTALLY SUCK AT READING PEOPLE; I CAN'T BELIEVE I ONCE THOUGHT OF HER AS A KIND SOUL AND MY ONLY TRUE FRIEND. I WAS SUCH A FUCKING MORON BUT NOT ANYMORE, NEVER AGAIN WILL THIS HAPPEND.

Like my favorite motto says, "Make a fool out of me once, shame on them; make a fool out of me twice, shame on me." Well there isn't going to be any shame on me every the fuck again. Today will be the last day that the old me will be living. No more trusting, no more caring, no more weakness, **no more Bella**.

Man I feel like a whole new person taking that load of. I had so much frustration built up, I just need to get it out; so thank you diary for listening and being patient with me, even if I might have hurt your ear from the yelling. Sorry about that, laugh out loud!

Until next time,

Fox

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Okay I think I have finally figured out how I want Bella, aka Fox, to do with her plan at get back at everyone. I hope you guys will like it, at least how i'm planning on presenting it. I'll prob post the next chapter up soon maybe tonight or tommorow, it just depends on how long I want to make it. I'll probably make it really long because twihead22796 keeps complaining that my chapters are to short, so I will be make it longer for her, which I'm glad to do. :] I hope you guys liked this chapter I just through it in cause I didn't feel it was right for me to just go right in to the whole plan thing. I wanted to make sure it the transition went smoothly and plus Bella has been holding back on her agression for awhile now so thought she should let it out, well at least a little. Please review and tell me what you think. Your Import really does help me come up with ideas from your insperation. So please, I'm begging you review (oh and fyi i never beg, no matter what so that should tell u something right there, I'm desprite, lol), so pretty please with a cherry on top. ;]


	9. The Right or the Wrong Way

**Bella BOV**

"Denis how you could be doing this, you know better than this. And I know you do because I've known you for so long, don't ruin are friendship by doing this little stunt of yours and ruin Emily's life. Please for me, don't. I know that you don't really want to do this because you really are sweet, you may put on this show for everyone else, that you are a totally bitch but I know for a fact that it's just a front to protect yourself. Please, Dice don't, because if you do you will lose me in the process." I began to plead with my best friend to just stop and forget this whole plan thing, and to not give up on me. I hope that are friendship means to Denis as much as it means to me.

"You're right Bells, I need to stop this and prevent Emily from making mine and hers biggest mistake of our lives. Thank you Bells for believing in me and not giving up hope on me. I'm so glad that I meet you and that we became such good friends. Cause I know that if I didn't, then I would be going through with this plan cause I would never had opened up and showed my true self to anyone, but you of course. For that, I am at always at your debt, and you have to know that I love and trust our friendship far more than some prank." Denis explained with such kindness and love, you never would have been able to tell that this was the same cruel and sadistic Denis, which everyone knows and hates.

This is the Denis that I loved and the one that I became best friends with.

We began to stroll are way to the tree that Emily was suppose to climb for the first step in The Plan. We began to near and we saw Emily about to step on the tree that was covered in honey.

"Emily, don't climb up that tree and break in to the school to get Denis's sweater because she just made that up to get you in trouble. Isn't that right Denis? Go on tell her you are sorry and won't ever do a thing like that again. Oh and also make her a member of US; she deserves it for all you put her through. Go on, be nice." I urged Denis to apologize and make things better between all of us so that no one would get in any trouble.

I don't believe in stooping low and being so immature like Denis and make her get caught. I believe in stopping wrong and fixing them but in a peaceful manner.

Denis said she was extremely sorry and hoped that Emily could forgive her and of course Emily obliged. They hugged each other and began to walk away together.

"Good luck y'all, and remember to be nice to each other because you are only worth based on how you treat others." I'm so glad that went smoothly, now they will live happily ever after and become the best of friends.

(That's what should have happened, but this is what really happened.)

"What the fuck? Why are you taking me? You should be arresting her, not me, you imbisule. I didn't do anything wrong she did, you hear me, she did. How can you not see it, the evidence is all over her, she's the one who is pure evil. I mean look at her, she's the creator of destruction and cruelty, not me. Hello, are you listening to me?" Denis was franticly trying to persuade the police officers that she was not guilty but that Emily was. She began to plead with them, begging them to see and let her go. Of course they didn't because really she was guilty. Even though she didn't think she was covered in the evidence, she was, every inch of her was covered in it, almost as if she had bathed in it.

Oh man, I wish I had placed a camera up so everyone could see Denis's face when she was dragged out wailing her head off. I swear I could see realization hit her face on what this meant. That she would lose her life, her popularity thrown out the window, being kicked out of US, her parents grounding her for the rest of her pathetic attempt of a life, and never going to get away with anymore bullshit, Denis McGuire will never be again. The life she knew it as, was destroyed form just a few changes her, a couple tweaks there and then she was ruined.

The world will now be a far better and safer place now that Denis McGuire is out of the picture.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Emily asked with such hate and fury.

I was shocked from her outburst but mostly intrigued, "Whatever do you mean? I didn't **do** anything**." **My response was buttered up with innocence but laced with knowing, guiltiness.

"You know exactly what I'm fucking talking about. How could you do it, I mean even to Denis, she didn't deserve that kind of punishment. "How could she be standing up for…**HER**, even after all that she had put her through, how could she be judging me form saving her ass. Man it's like I get fucked over in every aspect, no matter how hard I try I always manage to do something wrong. I can't believe I'm even taking her shit, this is **Emily. **

"You're joking right?" I sneered with sarcasm, "She was going to do the same thing to you, I saved you from the pain that she and the rest of the US members that caused you. I did you a favor; you should be thanking me, and not making me apologize.

"That is no excuse, you knew better. I looked up to you, I believed in you. I thought you were the nicest person, but really your just like **them**, how could you of all people be so cruel. I thought you would just stop her, not through her own piece of medicine in her face. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

What happened to me?

What happened was everything.

The fact that my mom took me away from my dear father, that she married a slim ball of a husband Mik, who rapes and beats me. The fact that my mom is an alcoholic who doesn't give a shit; that she was too busy with work to notice him touching me. The fact that everyone thinks I'm perfect but I'm really far from it.

All the frustration, anger, and all the stress finally put too much pressure and began to bumble up on top and it need to be released. I needed to take it out on someone and Denis deserved it, especially for everything she has done. I had to do something or I would have all blown up in my face, I couldn't let that happen. There's just so much one person can handle until they snap and Denis's plan was my breaking point.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. I'm sorry if I let you down, it was not my intention, but I finally had enough of Denis and her bad deeds. I will not say sorry and repent what I did. I just hope you forgive, forget, and just move on. I know I will. Have a good life Em, don't let anyone bring you down again; stay strong because the world will crush you if you don't, trust me, I know firsthand."

I just hope Emily takes my advice and moves on, because if she keeps letting people walk all over her, I can't say I didn't warn her. I look down at my phone and see its 11:17, now for my second plan to go into effect. It will only be three minutes now until Mik gets caught and finally faces what he deserves and that goes for Renee as well.

I began walking to my car, not even out, 2009, candy apple blue Z09 corvette w/white interior; I got in and began to drive. I drove and drove, if someone were to ask me how long, I wouldn't be able to say, the time passed by like it was air.

Without even realizing that I was at my destination, I couldn't remember one thing through the drive or what I was even thinking about, it all became blur.

Once I looked up I recognized small but quant cottage like house. Creamy yellow paint with an outline of wintery white was slated on the outside walls. The shutters were painted with a forest green that popped of the walls. There was a porch that wound around the front and to the side of the house that was painted with the same type of green. Trees were placed all over in a random scatter that almost hide the house. Bushes wrapped around the front of the house and in front of them was a white picket fence. The stoned walkway to the door was boarder with red and purple flowers, all different types and sizes. On the side of the house there was a small wooden stable that I didn't recognize, which I assumed kept a horse. There use to be nothing but forest beside and behind the familiar house until a thoughtful soul built a stable.

I was at my loving dad's house; I could not believe he did this for me. He knew I loved horses but never thought he'd get me one of my own. I can believe the effort he put in to make me feel at home and welcomed. It's like he could feel I would need someone to confide in.

I parked my car outside the garage and grabbed as many bags of luggage I could carry, ones of many, at least what I could fit in my small vehicle. I started dragging my way up to the house but before I could even step on the porch Charlie came running out and enveloped me in a strained but vigorous huge.

It was so comforting to just lean into him and breathe in his scent of mint and tobacco that was covered in a fresh forest pine cone smell that screamed warmth to me. I finally felt warmth again; I haven't for so long I'm surprised I could recognize it.

"How are you kiddo? I've missed you so!" Charlie was giving me a huge welcome grin; his eyes however, had sadness written all over them explaining how much he had missed me.

He began helping me bring in the bags as I replied with joy from the high that had developed from the familiarity, "I've missed you so much as well, daddy." I purposely skipped the question cause what would I say, that your baby girl was fucked by her supposedly new daddy, so I'm not doing to good, yeah that's a big fat no, so I just thought it was best to skip it all together. "I'm sorry I haven't been down for a long time, it's just been busy, school and all. So how have you been? Oh and I can't believe you got me a horse daddy. I hope he wasn't too much?"

"I've been good, just been working a lot down at the station, so unfortunately I won't be around a lot. You're welcome punk, I thought you could use someone specially when I'm not around, plus he will warn u if they are any intruders. Oh and you don't need to worry about, nothing is too expensive for my baby girl."

* * *

Once we got the entire luggage upstairs in my room, Charlie said he had to go down to the station, and he left me there alone to unpack. However, I did not feel up to it. So I decided to go down and introduce myself to my new horse.

Hopefully I could figure out a name for him, actually maybe it's a her, oh wait now Charlie said it was a he, he knew I always wanted a boy horse. I wonder if he got me a black mustang with creamy white hair that was the maim and the tail color, that I always dream of having. No he wouldn't would he? That forced me to break out into a full sprint towards the stable.

OMG, HE DID! He really shouldn't have, but I love the fact that he did. I cannot believe after all this time that he remembered. Aww he is so gorgeous, I think I'm in love, laugh out loud!

I think I'm going to call him Moonlight. I began to saddle Moonlight up, with what Charlie had bought for him. It was a black with embroidering and it was bran spanking new one at that. He also bought blankets, hay, a lot, a lot, and a lot of hay, hey wait a minute, did I say a lot yet? There was even a basket full of apples that was placed on top of a cumbered so that Moonlight couldn't reach it. I grabbed on, stuck it out in front of Moonlight and allowed him to eat it. Once he was finished and I had finally secured the saddle, I got up and swung my right leg over him and tapped him on the side to let him know I was ready to go take a little adventure through the trails in the forest that was surrounding us. He understood immediately, and we began our journey to the unknown world that laid behind the the trees.

Meanwhile, a hunter began to hunt his pray...

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**Well? What you think? Good? Bad? In the middle? Come on people help me out and let me know if I'm doing good or not. I tried to make it longer for you guys but I have to go to bed now so i just decided to post what I had so far. Plus I have eben pretty good I mean I've been posting a chapter a day now so thats got to be worth something right? Please give me feed back. Love you all who review thanks you guys.**


	10. Moonlight

**Edward BOV**

"Edward, I think you need to get out, because I can smell your already rotting corpse all the way down stairs. You've been in your room since after school on Friday, so why don't you go downtown or better yet go hunting! Have you looked at yourself you look like shit! People are going to get curious if keep going to school looking like that." Alice was giving me this disappointed look, which I know I deserve. She's right I have been in her for a while, neglecting my responsibilities and I am starting to get hungry. To get out and about won't kill anybody, so to speak; plus I won't look suspiciously dead, like my caring but way to perky sister, Alice, said.

"You're right Alice; I do need to get out." Before Alice could even respond, I was flying out the window towards the meadow.

I ran less than a minute and had already been over whelmed with a delicious and far too familiar scent. I lunged at my prey and broke the mountain lions neck without even a flinch. I began to sink my teeth into the warm and pleasurable liquid that began to run down my dry throat that left me feeling full of energy and rejuvenation.

Bushes were rustled, I jerked my head up, and someone was coming. I began to smell the most intoxication smell I had ever come across.

I looked done and remembered I was leaning over a dead mountain lion, I threw the carcass away from me and was lost among the trees that surrounded the forest.

I licked my lips to whip away the left over blood and began to carelessly walk, acting as if I didn't just kill one of the most deadliest cats with just one hand.

Within a couple of minutes the human would break through the bushes and come out to the opening of the meadow.

But what I did not consider the fact that human would be dead drop gorgeous.

As I was analyzing her, time had flown by and I had hardly even notice her speak, I was to absorb by her looks.

The beautiful creator had long wavy gold blonde hair, just as I would imagine Goldie Locks hair to be. Skin that was a naturally tan from being out under the sun for long hours, she looked short, about 5'5, but she certainly didn't have short legs. They looked as if they could go on forever; she had long and lean muscles that highlighted the tone of her athletic built body.

Her face was well shaped and had dominated features; her face was shaped like a square with a strong jaw line, like mine was, but less manly and had a far more feminine look about it. She had high cheek bones as well; but not as sharp as mine, they looked so soft and round.

I just wanted to cup them in my hands and never let her face leave them. It didn't help the fact that both of them had a rose tint that completed her look with such innocents.

However, none of her other features even compared to her most heavenly like eyes. They were bright lushes green that were defined by light brown; a dark blue shade ringed her eyes that made her eyes pop out even more. Creating the most intense and creative look I had ever come across; her eyes, there were no words that could capture their true essence.

Bad things have happened to this Goddess, its written all over her eyes, being disloyal to what her face said. They proceed on telling me that she has seen far too much, especially for such a short life span.

I began to get furious, who would do anything bad to this angel like create standing before me. How dare they, I wanted to know now what had happened to her and who had the nerves to do it so I could torture and then kill. I vowed then and there that I would not rest until this innocent girl was attended to and I knew her life story.

All I know was I had never see anything like her in my whole life. I wanted her, no I needed her, and I would do anything to make sure that I would have her as mine. Not in the psycho ownership kind of way, but in a loving and caring manor.

**Fox (Aka Bella) BOV**

"Hello," Fox chipped from shock in seeing someone so deep in the forest, especially when he looked like a God.

Okay, do I like have something on my face or something because the beautiful angel keeps staring at me. But I do have to admit, I enjoy look at him too, who wouldn't. He was extremely tall, roughly around 6'2, he look drastically lean from far away but once you get close you can see all his muscles popping out of his shirt showing a very well toned and athletic built body that I wish I could say was mine.

He had the most interesting hair I had ever come across, and that was saying something cause I was from L.A., there was so many different varieties and crazy ass styles that you couldn't help but just stare at the green Mohawks, shaved heads that left pieces of hair in patters, or even the ones that went full out rainbow hair, now those were the ones I admired. I could never do something like that but have always wanted to try. It would be so much fun to just do whatever the fuck you wanted and not care at all what others thought.

But that's beside the point; his hair wasn't anything like the bold trend marks but just rare and unique. It was all tasseled and messy like he just rolled out of bed, the look other guys spend hours trying to get, his hair was brown, no wait, gold, no that's not it either it's more red, all most as if it was copper, okay that's not it either, to red. Oh I know its bronze, with different toners and shades that gave him that look of being a model.

But once I got to his face, I was lost and felt that I would never be able to stop looking at him.

More particular, his eyes, they were so buttery and inviting. His eyes looked as if they were made of caramel and had dark chocolate drizzled over, to provide that highlighter that popped out the lightness. I found myself inadvertently staring and I didn't want to look away. But it seems as if it was the same way for him, but how could that be? My eyes were just green, not boring but not great either, no shocking difference from other peoples, not like his were.

I began to look at his face so I wouldn't draw attention to myself from drooling that was beginning to occur from the intensity. He had a very strong and masculine jaw line that made his face form a square; he had extremely high cheek bones that defined far more toning to his gorgeous face. He had a cleft chin but not prominent, it was only like a little dent that adds something else that somehow tied all his other features together. I wanted him, and I meant badly.

Now this is getting awkward, he hasn't said anything for like ten minutes now. I look down at my phone and see it has literally been ten minutes. What's wrong? Do I_ look that repulsive _to him that he can't even exchange a simple Hello? If that is the case, then I have never experience this before; so many people usually stare at me for the complete opposite reason. Everyone else thought I was angelic looking; many would forgetting their own manors and publicly stare. Jealousy would take over and begin envy that forced them to walk away in a huff.

So maybe that's why he was staring at me, however; I didn't think he was going to run away in a storm. But even though everyone else I had crossed paths with had fallen in a trance, why him, the God, be overwhelmed with my looks. No it has to be the other option; he's far too good looking to even consider me as a looker.

"Hello, I'm sorry for my rude behavior. Do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive me, give me a little slack and all us to start over?" I was so overwhelmed by his musicale voice and lyrical words that I hardly registered what he said. He was pleading with me? To forgive him? Wait why, what did he say he did wrong? Oh I know its cause of the staring. Hang on, why did his choice of words sound strange? Who talks that proper now a days? Strange, very strange, he is a peculiar one; I should keep my eyes on him, hehe and not because he is a little off but because I think I'm in love, well, so to speak.

He's staring at me again, but why? I give him a quizzing look think he might respond what he's waiting for. Oh damn, I'm such an idiot, he's waiting for me to answer him, duh.

"I asked if you …" as the same time the curious boy, or a man, no he looks to young to be a man, okay a boy, but he still has man features. You know what, fuck this, he's a fucking boy. Okay back to what I was saying, the boy began to answer, I began to reply, "Yeah, I'm fine with…" at the same time, then we grew silent again. We both tried to answer again at the same time as well, so then the boy said, "I apologize for my interruption, please continue, as it is accustom that women go first."

At this, I lost it, his voice is just so…so I don't know and his looks, well let juts say they take my breath away. How could anyone concentrate under these circumstances? Okay breath, take a breath in threw your nose and a breath out of your mouth. Seriously, what is up with his phrasing of words?

"I was just going to say, it is fine with me if we start fresh." I tapped Moonlight and turned the reigns a little so he would go back to where we came in through the bushes. I thought it would be a little humorous if I made it literally a new introduction. Not that we really even introduced ourselves, but that's beside the point.

"Wait, where are you going?" The boy had a hurt look across his face with a hint of, could it be longing? His eyes began to plead with me begging me not to go as I responded, "Don't fret, you will see in a sec."

As Moonlight and I both intruded through the bushes again I once again said, "Hello" with a sly smile that crossed my face.

"Well Hello, and how are you doing on this fine day? Or I should say soon to be night?" The boy replied without even a blink and definitely formed the most breath taking smile I had ever seen showing off his purly whites.

"I'm doing great, I guess." However, I was far from **great**, hell I wasn't even fine, but he didn't need to know that. "You're lying." The apparently intuitive boy stated in a matter of fact manor, how did he know? Was I that obvious? But I've always been a great liar and had never had anyone second guess what I said. So what makes him different?

I decided to skip what he said and act like I didn't hear, "Lovely day out, what with all the clouds, the darkness that seems to have a permanent hover over the town, and of course you can't forget the wetness. " I said with such hate at the end and I began wishing I was still in L.A. when even winter it was warm but I still had a playful tone that would help benefit me in showing this boy that I was doing great, to keep the questions from pouring out of his full but shaped lips.

"Yeah that's why you just got to love Forks, the rain and all makes it just so damn sunny, I can't stand it." He broke out into little chuckles from his own humor as I began to join him.

"This place is definitely the opposite of L.A. But I think I'm going to really love it here." Especially because the Greek God is placed here.

"Oh, so that is why I do not recognize you. When did you get into town? And you must be Isabella Swan."

"Yeah, I'm new here and I just got here about two hours ago, wait how you know that was me."

"Oh and it's Fox now" I add quickly before he thought he could call me by my old weak name.

"Okay Fox Swan," at this I had to force an interruption. "Fox's, just Fox, no Swan" I said with such force and a hint of venom to just get it across now that I just want to be called Fox.

"Okay Fox it is. It's a small town and word travels fast for your arrival. Your father is the chief of police and you did live here before so people who knew you from your early years have been extremely egger and highly excited that you were returning. Therefore, you have been the biggest topic of discussion, about you and who you use to be. Maybe you are the same, I have no Idea but usually that is the case."

Before I could reply he introduced himself, "Oh and by the way, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm a junior at Fork's high so if you see me…" Oh god, here it comes, I knew it was too good to be true to be talking to this God like of a creature and expect him to want to socialize with me. He's going to tell me how to not talk to him and act like we never meet before so we can go our separate ways.

However, that was far from what he said, I was shocked when he said, "don't think I'm stocking you or anything, I just can't help myself from staring at your angelic like characteristics."

What does he mean, 'my angelic like characteristics'? He thinks I'm beautiful, this boy, oh yeah, he said his name was Edward, man I love that name, so old fashioned and traditional. I don't tell anyone this but I love old fashioned things and I enjoy upholding traditions, even though my family has none; so I always dreamed of making my own when I created my own family.

"Don't worry I'll only like you are a semi-stoker," I proceeded with laughter, "So you're a grade above me, interesting, so what are you doing out here?"

"Walking and enjoying the beautiful creations mother earth has provided us with. What about you? You just got into town and you are already riding though the forest, on a beautiful mustang I might add."

"Yeah, Charlie had to go down to the station and I didn't feel like unpacking so I opted to hanging out with my new buddy her Moonlight. Charlie just got him for me because he didn't want me to be alone and he always knew I loved horses. I've also always wanted to have two redbone coonhounds, just like the ones from the movie and the book, "Where the Red Fern Grows" they would be siblings, one be a girl and one be a boy and then I would call them Rhett and Scarlet, after my favorite movie and book Gone With the Wind. I know what you're thinking."

"And what is that?"

"That it's the most stupidest thing you have ever heard. But I've always wanted them since I was little and always pictured them running next me and my horse."

"I don't think it's stupid at all, I think it is a great dream, I hope it is fulfilled one day."

"I hope so too."

"Well it is getting pretty late and I don't think you should be out her in the dark, you never know what could happen. Plus, you should start getting unpacked it is easier to adjust once you feel you are settled in."

"Yeah, I suppose you are right, I do need to get back." How did he know it made you feel better? Did he move a lot? I'll have to find out, mental note.

"It was a pleasure meeting you; have a nice night and sweet dreams Fox." As if that would ever happened.

"Nite Nite, and don't let the bed bugs bite." I ended with chuckles from one of my favorite sayings, so childish, I know.

His smile grew so wide from my comment and he seemed to be a little shocked that I would say something so nerdy like that.

* * *

**Well what did you guys think? Edward is finally in the picture and hoped you guys liked how they meet. I also know I didn't really make Edwards wording really proper or anything so if you guys could just go with me on it and pertend it was then that would be great. Please review, I really do enjoy hearing what you have to say no matter how bad it is, becasue I defintily don't like sugar coating. If you have any questions or ideas please let me know. Thanks for reading and I will totally love you more if you replied wiht comments. PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP. DON'T MAKE ME BEG, PLEASE!**


	11. Can't Resist

Fox POV

Dear Diary,

You are not going to believe this. I meet a God today when I went horseback riding with Moonlight. Oh yeah, I forgot I hadn't got a chance to tell you that Daddy got me a horse, he's beautiful to, I'm already in love, and not just Moonlight laugh out loud. Edward, that's the boys name, he is so ffffffiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! However; there is something off about him, I can't point my figure at it yet, but I will. Like I always say, 'When there is a will, there is always a way' man I love clichés way too much, but they are just so fun, I'm such a nerd, all well, that's why everyone loves me. I can't tell you how much I want the next two weeks to be over so I can have an excuse to see Edward again. Okay well I'm going to hit the sack because I'm severely beat, we knew crushing on someone could drain the life right out of yeah. I hope Mik won't come into my dreams and force me into his nightmares; I desperately need a good night's sleep.

Peace

Fox

P.S. I forgot to tell you I changed my name form the weak Bella.

* * *

Edward POV

That's it, I'm not going to just sit here and daydream or night dream about Isabella swan, oh wait its Fox now, what is that all about anyways? And for some reason that name sounds so familiar but I don't know where.

Mmhmm… I have to see her now. I can't just stay on my couch anymore just thinking about her, no, I need to see her in the flesh. I glanced at my clock and notice it was only 1:27 in the morning so I at least had roughly ten hours to watch her sleep. Before I even registered, I was standing over Fox.

She looked so beautiful and at peace; I was fighting with every nerve in my body not to touch her. I just wanted to pull back the strand of hair that was lying over her face; However, before I could react and stop I had pulled it back, with it her screams began.

"Fox, Fox I'm sorry, are you okay? I didn't mean to, I couldn't help myself…" before I continued on and explain why I was in her room at 1:30 in the morning watching her sleep, I finally realized that she was fast asleep.

She was sleep talking or screaming I should say she proceeded on saying Mik, a guy name. Jealousy seeped through me, forcing me into rage and bitterness before I heard the terror and hatred that vibrated off of Fox's mouth, my poor angel. What? I did not just say my angel right? I cannot allow myself to say that, she cannot be mine, never, I'm a monster. I'm far more a threat then this Mik guy.

But that was besides the fact that I wanted this guy dead!

"Please, please don't! I'm begging you Mik, not again, not tonight, please!?!" The Goddess began to plead and wanted the guy to stop. Stop what? I did not know. I had to make sure I found out what that thing was and make sure he would never be able to do such a thing again.

I stepped towards Fox, began to hum a lullaby which reminded me of her and then I took her hand in mine and started to rub soothing circles into her palm, she abruptly stopped her thrashing and whaling, once in contact. She drifted off into the dream realm and left the nasty nightmare behind.

I sat with her for hours but it seemed to only be a few seconds, she started to steer and her breathing began to pick up, she would rise soon.

I jumped out of the window and was at my house before she ever opened her eyes.


	12. Am I Dirty?

**Hey everyone! I am so sorry that I have not written for so long and left you all hanging. I had this started and been working on it for a long and I mean long time but just never found the time ot finish. I just got all caught up in life and let me tell yeah it has been a roller coaster... So anyways I decided to just post this and get soemthing out there instead of just letting it sit for another good long time period. I really do hope you guys could forgive me and still read, hopefully even give me comments and advice; which definitely help a lot and gives me more enjoyment when I write. Well anyways enough of all this chit chat. **

**Oh um there is some detailed lemons in this so If you would like to skip the part then I would just scroll down to the end of the flashback...I needed to make it descriptive to get closer to her real feeling it will make far more sense later. Ok I'm done so please read and I hope you enjoy.**

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Time has gone by super slow, I think, no I know, I'm going to scream. It has only been two days since I saw, **him**. It's driving me insane that I don't get to see him, not yet at least, because time decided to torched me, and move like a fucking snail, like molasses. Why now? Why is it that when you want time to fly by it doesn't. Just like…

**Flashback:**

I lay in my unusually high bed with the moonlight shining down on me casting a glare of disapproval, I know I needed to sleep, but that didn't mean I wanted to.

Hell, I feared for my life when it came down to the fact of actually falling asleep, I couldn't, I wouldn't. I didn't want to face what lied behind the door that entered into my dreams; however, they were far from dreams, the complete opposite I fact, nightmares are what plagued me, taking over and destroying any hope of pleasure.

I was slowly disappearing into a dose, Mik came in my room and I thought I mistakenly fell asleep.

Mik climb onto my bed and began to touch my body randomly in a slow, almost teasing manor and then abruptly he grabbed my neck as if he was going to choke me to death, pulling my hair as he pushed me against him.

The pain hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew then that this was reality; he started to smother me with kisses, even though he was my stepfather, I couldn't help but acknowledge what a great kisser he was.

He didn't slobber like a dog (even though I assumed he would be a slobber because of the testosterone exchange that practically drugs you into thinking you want more), or be over-dramatic about it, he was rough but he would be tender as well.

His kisses began to travel down from my jaw line down to my neck while he drew up his hands to my growing voluptuous boobs grabbing and needing, forcing me to moan. He proceeds on by licking my nipples, nipping at them with his teeth cause a small shiver to pass through me.

He came back to my mouth and began to force his tongue in my mouth into a French kiss, while still have one hand groping my tot tits the other slowly traveled down my stomach just grazing my skin, he travels down deeper, lower, to the point where his hand slides under my laced panties were he gently rubs my soon to be wet pussy.

Rubbing back and forth, faster and faster against my clit causing me to moan in more pleasure. At the same time he takes his thumb and begins to rub against my bundle of nerves.

I can't help but to feel so dirty for the way I act when he touches me; how could my body do this, to turn on me and enjoy what he is doing to me? I've been betrayed by my own body. I love the feeling Mik makes me feel no matter how wrong or illegal it is, pleasure is pleasure and he makes me feel something no one has ever made me feel before.

**End of flashback and Into reality:**

I hate remembering the past, the cruel reality of it is just too much to handle, and it makes healing from it just that much harder. Ugg now I feel like a disgusting dirty whore who gets turned on by their cruel stepfather who has had sex with their own mother. I can't get over how much I enjoyed his touch, even to the point where I was in longing for it, always anticipating the next touch.

**WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!**

I need help, server help, I should be taken to the loony bin because obviously I do not react the right way normal people do. I have no clue what is makes something right or wrong and is impossible for me to establish what a truth from a lie is. Yes I need help, professional help, who deal with this type of nuttiness. Yeah that's it.

But wait what if I'm the only freak who is sick and twisted like I am. That they won't even except me and just lock me up by myself, isolated me from other people from fear of me contaminating and turning over the other already afflicted enough patients to my dark and disturbing side. I'd be like a plague, OMG I'm the bad apple. The one that turns all the rip and good apples bad because of a rotting apple like me is present.

Ok, you know what. I need to get a hold of myself. Deep breaths.

**Inhale three, two, one … Exhale three, two, one. **

Alright that's far better, I have to remember what Derrek told me, how I'm not at fault, just because one can be stimulated at the age of two does not me its right for another to arouse that feeling.

I seriously need to go get some fresh air. Oh, I'll go ride moonlight, yeah that will make me feel better; plus I need to be busy so I don't have to think about time and how seriously long the period is. And if I'm lucky Edward will be there, you never know we just might pump into each other again, he could possibly take hikes a lot in the forest. He just so hottttt, I can't help but drool just thinking about him and his rippling muscles. Oh and those eyes, man I could just melt from looking at them for too long. Ok I need to get a grip and stop thinking about him, hello news flash he's so not into you. Plus I got to get ready for going to school and I need to get settled in. This may have been my home but I haven't been here for years and I should get adjusted to the new world, my new world. The last thing I need is distractions and I already have a small enough tension span.

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I just took off moonlights saddle and began to groom her will I was disappointed in the fact that Edward wasn't there. What the hell, are you listening to yourself? HELLO! Stop talking about Edward Cullen, ok that's it! We are going to Seattle! I'm in desperate need of a shopping trip, plus I should get new school supplies and clothes to go with my new life.

Well I have a confession to admit, I know I'm supposed to change everything but I love my clothes, so do I seriously need to change that. No, I can't I'm not going to, I'll just buy some more spicy items to give a little something new and refreshing. Yeah that sounds good, I was getting a little worried there; I mean as shallow as clothes are it has a deeper meaning to me. My clothes were something that I always had control over, the style couldn't be touched by my foul mother or my perverted step-father. I had the capability to change things here and there in order to become a different person and leave the past behind. I mean that is what I am doing so what could it hurt keeping my cute clothes.

I took a long steaming hot shower before I plugged in my Itouch into my speakers and pressed play on Air War by Crystal Castles, it's one of my favorite electronic songs and I enjoy the uniqueness. I grabbed a book off my newly placed shelf, that reminds me need to get more books when I'm in Seattle, and sprawled out on my bed and proceeded to read _Crash Into Me_by Albert Borris. It's sad to think how people think the only way out is through suicide, regretfully I've been there; sometimes I can't help but think about death and how it just be so much easier. However, I have yet to try and commit to death; I always try to have hope that there is something out there that can help me with my depression. Unfortunately there aren't as many out there that have a more positive outlook, I wish with all my fiber of my being that I could help the lost souls. But then again how could I when I'm almost at the same point they are, struggling with the pain and knowing how to heal.

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"Hey Daddy um I was thinking I need to get school supplies and new books so I was wondering; since I still got a week before second semester starts, if I could head down to Seattle…of course with your promotion first?" Oh God please let me go, I know I just got here and he hasn't seen me forever but he's not going to be around anyways.

"I hate to say it but I think that's a great idea because as much as I want to hang out with you and for use to bond, I have to work. I'm so sorry. But I promise I'll make it up to you later and I would like for us to get close. I know we haven't spoken for a long time but I hope we could put the past behind us and try to get to know each other again."

I felt sad by his response and his lonesome expression. I was excited that he was allowing me to leave but also sad because I do want to get close with him as well; it would be nice to actually having a loving and caring parent for a change.

"Don't feel bad daddy, I completely understand and don't hold anything against you. We will have plenty of time to get along later plus I already knew when I came here that you were going to have to work so it's no surprise. Oh and don't forget you got me moonlight, who I love, thank so much again he has really been helping me get settled in."

"Of course, Adam was talking about how he just got this gorgeous horse and I couldn't help myself but ask what kind; he said a black mustang with cream hair and I knew I had to get him for you. I'm just happy you at least have someone to be with you when I'm gone at work."

"Well I appreciate the thought and I am so happy to have a carrying father like you. So I was thinking I will leave first thing tomorrow morning and then see how long it will take me when I'm there."

"Ok that sounds good to me; just make sure you call me when you get there."

"Alright, will do daddy."

"Oh and punk…"

He stood up and went up stairs to his room I believe and came back down with a wade of hundreds which he threw down on the table next to our dinner of cheesy pizza. I was in shock he had that much lying around; yes I'm used to seeing a lot of money but I know that Charlie doesn't make that much to just through that kind of money around.

"Here this should get you by through your trip."

"Daddy its ok there's no need I have my own money, you should keep it."

"I will do no such thing, you are going on a trip and the parent is supposed to provide you with the money to do so."

"But daddy there certainly no…" He cut me off before I could finish my sentence and I saw the proud look on his face, he began to plead with me on with his eyes as he said…

"Please, take the money for me, it will make your old man feel good and I won't worry so much."

How could I say no to that, now I just have to take the cash. I'll just say I still had money left over if tries to give me more later on at least it will save some money. I wish he didn't feel the need to have to give it to me but then it's kind of nice having him care.

SHIT, I need to go pack if I want to leave early tomorrow. I almost allowed it to slip my mind, now that wouldn't be good, nope not at all.

Man its pitch black out and I don't hear anything, it's just the ire sound of silence, of course I don't hear anything, no one in their right mind gets up this early. But I couldn't help not being able to sleep, Mik came to me during the night and I just had to get out of that claustrophobic room and get some fresh pine air. I ran over to moonlight and was hit with the smell of hay and peppermint, I began to brush her as I was feeding her peppermints, they are her favorite.

I proceeded to groom her for a good 30 minutes before I decided to take her out on a little walk and headed into the woods. I know this is an abnormal time but I could help wanting Edward to show up. As if he just knew that I needed him at that moment…yet I had my hopes set up too high. He did not appear and become my shinning night in armor. Nope. It was pathetic of me to even consider it as a possibility.

Little did she know that **he** was actually present the whole time, wanting to approach and comforter her. Of course he did not because it was an odd period of time to be up and about roaming the land, alone, and far away from his home.

I really do need to get a grip and stop wondering if Ill perhaps runs into him at random times and locations. Where has my sensibility gone? I don't even know why I even care if I see him again. I just don't do relationships. They are pointless. What with their all their fairytale promises that while never come true…

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**So what did you guys think? Please be honest. I love brutality. Honest. (Throughs hands up). Alright I'll try to put up the next chapter soon... **


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